Covfefe

Dr. Benjamin Braddock observes the typical “seething resentment” that appears in response to virtually every depiction of excellent coffee being brewed:

I’ve been a coffee drinker for about ten years. First, I started with the basic drip brew, with cream and sugar. Soon enough, I pared back the sugar and cream and started taking my coffee black. Then, I was shown the AeroPress method of brewing, which produced a higher-quality cup. Finally, I learned how to make a pour-over, which has been my main method for years. I’ve never done any research myself on coffee; everything I know about coffee has been taught to me in person by colleagues and friends.

The quality of a cup of coffee depends on both the quality of the bean and the successful execution of the brewing method. The video in the tweet linked to above depicts an espresso, with a moderate amount of excess in the details. Attention to detail has diminishing returns in a brew, but it certainly effects a much higher-quality brew when even a basic level of effort is put in.

Folgers Coffee, of my home state of Louisiana, is unfortunately some of the worst coffee I have ever tasted in my entire life — as is virtually any bean that can be found on store shelves across America (Community Coffee, Starbucks, etc.). This is not surprising, as Folgers is owned by the mega-conglomerate Smuckers. While it was once a “local” company and a point of pride, at this point there is certainly no reason for Louisianians to take pride in Folgers just because a roasting plant owned by Smuckers happens to exist in Orleans Parish as a legacy of the original Folgers brand. No, no more than an Arkansian ought to take pride in Wal-Mart simply because it happens to be headquartered in Bentonville.

Despite the abysmal quality of this coffee, I actually have no problem drinking it! It’s not quite enjoyable, but it isn’t revolting. I even drink black coffee on airplanes. It’s really only a burned brew that I find undrinkable. Anything else is serviceable. That said, in my personal life, I find it worthwhile to put some effort in. While the “tasting notes” of certain beans can be pretentious, this is immaterial to the actual quality, or lack thereof, of the bean. Suffice to say, the notes are real to some extent, in that they describe or attempt to describe something tangible about the unique qualities of the beans in that bag. The success of any particular tasting note is subject to the scrutiny of the imbiber of the brew, but my particular favorites are raspberry and blueberry notes. The first time I tasted a high-quality brew with pronounced berry notes, I was astounded at the presence of the flavor of blueberry or raspberry in the cup, which had come entirely from the bean itself.

There is actually not much to achieving brews of such quality. While you can very precisely measure every detail, all you really need to do is some basic measurement. Grind the correct quantity of beans to the correct fineness, and pour the water over the beans at the correct temperature and correct rate. All very simple, as the grind setting is configured once, the temperature of the water is set with an electric kettle, and from that point forward it is simply a flick of a switch to grind the measure of beans and heat the water. All in all, it takes about ten minutes to get a well-made cup of coffee, which can be done synchronously with the preparation of breakfast. Once habituated, one might spend at most an additional three minutes preparing the coffee.

Everyone believes that it is worth the time to prepare a meal properly, but why not coffee? There are two primary reasons for these reactions. First, there is a surface-level association of gourmet coffee being served by a bisexual barista who writes in votes for Bernie Sanders on every ballot, and second, a deeper association between the lowest tier of coffee and the mythical “working class.” By “working class,” we of course mean the toiling refinery worker, who makes $150,000 a year. Hmm…

But you wouldn’t want to be bourgeois, would you? You must drink the beanslop to show your affinity with the working class, comrade!

As Thomas777 has remarked, is there factory somewhere with a city-barracks employing tens of thousands of workers at subsistence wages that I don’t know about? True, times are hard in America for the lower ends of the middle class especially, but that’s just it — America doesn’t have a “working class” anymore. There is a very broad middle class, the elites, and a poverty class, according to the well-documented “high-low versus middle” arrangement.

The phrase “working class” is simply a means of artificially separating the middle class along white-collar/blue-collar lines to divide and conquer. Whether you make $50,000 a year or $150,000, you are middle-class, and your class interest is identical: smash the levers of the high-low patron-client power relationship!

Whether you earn your income by the sweat of your brow or the tapping of fingers on a keyboard, as Americans, your predicaments are the same. The “upper,” or ruling, class is ever constricting your God-given liberties either way, both harassing you and confiscating your wealth for their clients. Any time you see the phrase “social program,” read “client program.” Social programs for the poor are “client programs for confiscation from the middle class.” “Social” or “public” housing developments are client housing developments.

Don’t let bureaucrats tugging at your heartstrings trick you! There are many legitimate and admirable ways to perform charitable acts, but government programs under the current regime are not charity. They are designed not to solve the problems, but rather to create permanent clients and reinforce the problems that made those people clients in the first place. The state always wants more clients. It never wants to reduce its clients. The middle class of America aspires to yeomanry, and never to be a client of the state. It had better learn the real Schmittian friend-enemy distinctions at play if it does not want to be vacuumed into the regime’s ever-growing permanent client caste.