As GenX, you are on target here. I also have the same disdain for my generation. Peers, spare me please from further talk of the rigors of drinking from the garden hose.
However, there is one thing that you missed or may not be aware of. A huge part of the reason you don't see many GenX in positions of power is 1) we are a small generation, and 2) the Boomers screwed us. The Boomer stayed in their managerial positions far longer than ever imagined. Mostly because they saved poorly for retirement, but also they no longer had the great deals the Silent Generation got in terms of pensions. Sure, they look good now in comparison to the deal you will have, but man, those Silent Generation guys hit peak pension. Boomers on the other hand, prime career periods were the period of failing pension funds and the switch to IRAs and 401ks.
So the Boomer just stuck in there a little longer, and promised their ambitious GenX hirelings that if they just stuck it out paying their dues, they'd get rewarded when the Boomer retired. But what happened is the Boomers then looked at GenX, aging, stuck in dead end careers, and hired their own kids (or those symbolically their own kids) the millennials into their management positions.
But don't worry GenY and Z. The same is about to happen to you. Because retirement isn't going to get any easier, and those Millennials hit those middle management jobs young. As you might gather, I fall into the despair side of GenX, rather than smarmy. Be prepared to suck it up, buttercup. Because the old curse seems to be true. As you are now so once was I, as I am now so you shall be.
Not to get morbid, but the advantage that my generation has is that mortality is undefeated and the Boomers are swiftly approaching the average age of mortality in the US. As a whole, Gen Y and Z also seem to be out for blood. The problem with the Gen X mentality is that it's framed around the notion of "I never got what I deserved" as if the selfish Boomers would ever just relinquish power. Instead, Y and Z seem to have the frame of "I'm taking what's mine. Try and stop me, old man."
You aren't wrong. GenX didn't get what they deserved. It's a definitional feature. Not that it helps to whine about it. My point being that a similar thing is about to happen to Z. Perhaps they'll be pillowing their elders. But it'll have to be, for the most part, the Millennials rather than the Boomers. It's the Millennials who stand to inherit Boomer largess whose rate of transfer as you point out is accelerating. Personally, I don't see GenZ having it in them but who knows desperate times call for desperate measures. As it's going they may find their elders have already been looted by the State. At least in the blue states inheritance taxes are skyrocketing. In general, the States and Feds appear to be working hammer and tongs to ensure generational wealth ends up in the government's pockets. It's a dark future and my retirement plan is canned goods and shotgun shells.
I have never thought I didn't get what I deserved, but I was raised in such dysfunction with my basic needs barely met that I am now so grateful for everything I have: a comfortable home, great marriage, healthy kids, and peace. I just can't imagine wanting anything more. For their sakes, I really hope Y and Z (I have a few kids in this generation) don't have such vengeful hearts. What a terrible way to go through life.
The other thing boomers did was to value status extremely highly, so a lot of the first couple of promotions were to jobs that were actually worse than the jobs they managed. I had a bunch of jobs back in the 90s and 2000s where I would have turned down a promotion because I'd only make 30% more money for 50-100% more hours. People in a suit and tie often make far less money than most people think they do. But very few people were able to work in a suit and tie in the Boomers' parents day, so Boomers think it is rare and high status.
I'd add that GenX never did anything politically because the Boomers massively outnumbered us while also being far more focused on what they wanted from politics (money & status), and in a democracy that is all that matters. They are called boomers because their parents had something like 4 kids on average, while boomers went back to the 2.1 average but also delayed having kids. Which means there was a big delay before GenX turned 18, during which Boomers ran wild in the Republic. Boomers were the largest voting block from 1978-2016, for example.
The modern concept of the "VP" in companies was invented for boomers. It's title inflation for the ego of the receiver and, to a certain extent, for client perception. There are companies with dozens of VPs who are not even within spitting distance of the actual C suites. But they get to put VP on their business cards and elevates them in their minds to the point they'll tolerate demands that would be ridiculous for a senior manager. My favorite thing to ask somebody who mentions he or she is a VP at their company (and like vegans and crossfitters, they will) how many other VPs there are. They don't enjoy it when somebody refuses to engage in their polite fiction of being somebody of import in their company.
Insightful article. I've had a hard time understanding GenXers. Mostly because they're largely irrelevant. But your observation that they worship pop culture is spot on. I remember them going bonkers for Stranger Things.
The one observation I have about GenX is that they have two clichés that define their generation: being a "latchkey kid" and "punk rock." And while these clichés may have defined their childhood, why do they still cling to it in their 50s?
You're a 50 year old man talking about being a latchkey kid. That's weird.
GenX in general might be an entire generation with unresolved trauma.
That entire series was good, starting with the Frankfurt school deracinating program all boomers went through, with slight modifications to the generations after. Including pushing depressing and self-loathing grunge music to our people in the 90's, while MTV tried to keep off more powerful music like Pantera.
Unresolved trauma is psychobabble. You mean some people failed to confront adversity in a manly way. I'll cop to that. It only become trauma if you let it. The alternative is to be a man. I remember when there were still men.
This is a dumb boomer try-hard take. Look at the statistics on divorced kids, and meet some kids of divorce. They struggle.
This is the exact same individualist attitude that this article laments. Grow up from your cartoonish notions of manhood and realize being a man is about serving your community.
"Generation X was left largely to raise themselves, fueled by highly-processed TV dinners as they consumed a truly degenerate pop culture beamed directly to them over satellite, cable, VHS, and stereo with no supervision. This was the world Gen X was brought up in."
This is a major distinction between Gen. X and Millennials, who were raised in the late 1980s and 1990s by the second wave of Baby Boomers. Gen Xers were so neglected their parents had to be reminded at 10 p.m. on TV that they had children and "do you know where your children are?"
Millennials cherish their childhoods, because they had the best one possible. They weren't latchkey kids, but they weren't overly controlled. They could go outdoors and play unsupervised, or they could check out the latest cool NES game or high quality Disney/WB cartoons geared toward them. They grew up witnessing the rise of 3D graphics and internet. They experienced the perfect blend of digital-physical realms.
The curse of all that is that everyone thought their best days were ahead, and I think I put it accurately when I say the life of Millennials has gotten only worse since 9/11.
However, another difference is Gen. Xers were allowed to be adults when they became adults - mainly because their parents were too indifferent to bother stifling their growth. They had culture shaped around them for a while when they were adults, rather than kids. The late 1990s and early 2000s is full of entertainment geared toward Gen. X, but also starring Gen Xers and portrayed from a Gen Xer perspective.
"The Millennial Malaise" is what Millennials are experiencing right now, because their parents, generally speaking, haven't moved past the parenting phase regarding how they infantize their children and people their children's age. This is why Millennials are getting married least of any generation; there's no social context for it. Millennials are hitting 40 and still being treated like children, which is why you see so much bittersweet nostalgia posted on social media by Millennials.
Gen. Xer face the challenge of overcoming apathy and indifference in favor of a positive vision for the future. Millennial face a challenge of finding meaning beyond existing as children of vanity.
Ryan, thank you for tackling an oft overlooked demographic and their role. Also, props for mentioning the Silent Generation and for alluding to something that often gets overlooked in the generation wars.
No generation is in charge during their formative years. Boomers did not create the Boomer Truth Regime. The pop artists creating 90s slop for my fellows and I were already late teens or 20s and their managers and producers probably decades older. This is much more inter-connected than surface level criticisms admit.
Wow, you really nailed it! I am an older GenX woman born in 1966 in Southern CA. When I was in elementary school, I was the only kid in my entire school whose parents were divorced. I felt like an outcast because of this, and because I was painfully shy, and because I was also placed in the MGM (Mentally Gifted Minors) program in school, I felt even more isolated at times, although I was well liked by my peers. My mother worked as the first female mail carrier in Los Angeles County and was a self-described feminist. I got myself ready for school and walked to school myself from the age of 6. I had a housekey that I wore around my neck that I let myself in with after school. We didn't attend church growing up, which was actually not the norm at the time, even in SoCal. My mother was always hostile to Christianity and she raised us in what I refer to as the Church of Shirley McClain and New Age deception. We were forced to meditate from the time I was 11, which always brings to mind the Dead Kennedy's song "California Uber Alles" and gives me a laugh. My mom divorced again when I was 12 and I hadn't seen my dad since I was 5.
By age13 (1979) I was attending local punk rock shows, all ages clubs like The Cookoos Nest in Orange County, and going up to Hollywood to see bands like Black Flag, Circle Jerks, etc. I shaved my head in 1980 after having been inspired by Spock's girlfriend in the Star Trek movie. Even in SoCal at that time, there was a price to pay for this type of outward breaking of societal norms. I lost my entire friend group and was regularly ostracized by my peers. This made a dramatic turnaround within about 5 years, and those same peers who had ostracized me were practically falling over themselves to say that they were my friend. I'll spare everyone the gory details, but also by age 13 I became aware that my mother did not value the lives of children in the womb, and by extrapolation, I became convinced on a very deep level that I had little value also, because I was a child also, right?
It seems to me that your analysis of GenX's noticing that the world we lived in was "fake and it sucked and you need to be free to do whatever you want" is mostly correct, but I believe a small group of us began our "rebellion" not in a search to be free to do whatever we wanted to do, but simply to highlight the inauthenticity of a society which would allow people in authority to get ahead and to hold power, who would conform externally, but who were, behind closed doors, a bigger mess than those of us who were choosing not to conform to the EXTERNAL norms. The feeling was to expose this hypocrisy I suppose. You are mostly correct, specifically about those GenX'rs that I would put in the category of the people who became "rebels" post about 1982ish, or when it first began to become "safe", even "cool" to do so, and there was nothing really that they had to sacrifice. For instance, on my first day of High School in 1980 I wore a dress and fishnet stockings with holes in them and I had a shaved head. This was LONG before the existence of Hot Topic, or anything of the sort. By today's standards, it was really no big deal, but the teacher in my first class sent me to the office. The office admin staff looked at my school records which reflected mostly straight A's, an IQ of 141, and absolutely 0 disciplinary issues, and were puzzled as to what exactly to do with me. In the end, they sent me home with the pretextual reason that my fishnets had holes in them. As I was leaving, a crowd of "jocks" and "hippies" chased me across the lunch area and the parking lot, throwing glass bottles and food, etc. at me and shouting threats. The few other punk rockers I knew, if they were guys, would get beat up fairly regularly by "hippies" which were really just long haired surfer conformists who listened to Led Zeppelin or other classic rock/radio bands. The music I listened to was not available on the radio, apart from one Sunday late night radio show. You had to go to small, specialty record stores to find it and we mostly tried to emulate the British punk scene. As I said, and as I'm sure it's hard for younger people to imagine, there was a fairly stiff social price to pay during that brief period for having an external non conformist appearance. Nowadays, having a non conformist appearance signals exactly the opposite, a highly conformist, highly suggestable citizen. I never went back to high school, but took the HS Proficiency exam when I turned 15 and was done with my high school career. No, I never regretted not going to prom ha ha.
In 1979-1980, I couldn't leave the house without random people driving down the street shouting "Punk sucks" from their cars. This happened to me DAILY until about 1982 it started to slow down. Interestingly, this is when the early punk scene, for me, started to feel empty, polluted, and just another dead end road. When I first started listening to punk, adopting the uniform, and subverting societal norms, I believed that it was in reaction to all the people in society who I believed were a fraud and were outwardly "passing" as normal, stable, good families, but once you got a little bit of a closer look inside that family, the corruption and degeneracy was obvious. The lack of authenticity was what was offensive to me at the time.
I went on to have 4 children, have an accidental (to me anyway) salvation experience at 37-years-old, to work in one of the most conservative industries (commercial insurance), and to live on a 5 acre farm in the middle of Eastern Tennessee. I still don't fit in with the majority of the women I encounter at church, or when I was a bit younger, the moms at PTA meetings, but I maintain a core of Christian women friends, precious grandchildren, and have a very peaceful and contented home/married life. Now I find myself back to being the subversive rebel in society, and especially with my family, for the views that I currently hold. I support you OCG boys in all ways that I am able to. Thank you for your thoughtful article. History is very difficult to articulate if you were not there, and even if you were. You did a fantastic job of it!
Thank you for your kind words and thank you for sharing your story. It's sad how many people ran to subcultures in search of meaning only to find them just as empty and meaningless as normie life. I think that's where the hedonism sneaks in. "Punk isn't enriching my life either. Maybe nothing will. Might as well grab all the pleasure I can out of life since it's just meaningless." I hate that you guys went through that and I'm glad to see folks like you come out the other side of that death spiral.
Gen X definitely deserves more spotlight, so this was good. My only addition is that this was the generation that screwed over the Zoomers (their children) with smartphones and iPads. Utterly foolish parenting. And yes, the stupid “latchkey kid” narrative is always invoked to excuse this kind of thing. Oh well.
As a GenX parent of five children ranging in age from 18 - 30, we kept tech out of our kids' hands until we were forced to put it there by school mandate (don't get me started, and yes, we made some changes). None of our kids got a phone before their 16th birthday. My husband and I have spent our entire married life building a home for them and fostering a wider community through our church and nurturing friend groups with like minded people. We have willingly and gladly sacrificed higher paying jobs, relocations and other material comforts in order to lay down some long-lasting roots. I think Ryan gets a lot right in his portrait of GenX - in particular his description of our formative process - but I personally know many, many people in my generation who are in the fight to bring about change which will allow our kids to live more abundant and fulfilling lives.
That’s great to hear. In my experience teaching Gen Z, most of their parents don’t bother with these restrictions. Their boys are addicted to porn, their girls to social media, and yet they wonder why the kids are all so dysfunctional and antisocial.
And yes, the schools that push iPads, chromebooks, and all the rest do a huge disservice. I fight this every time it comes up and get overruled—usually by a Gen X administrator.
Sigh. We sent our youngest to a Jesuit all-boys school after Covid. They issued an iPad and were at a loss when I asked for physical books for my son. We left there and I homeschooled him (best decision I ever made and wish I had done it with all of my kids).
I would say the best protectant against the rot of the culture - though not perfect as the results with my own kids shows - is having an active faith life.
I hope that this venting of your utter scorn and loathing for Gen X at least makes you feel better. Substack as Psychodynamic therapy is something I've never considered, but maybe I should.
I’ve always said trying to generalize an entire generation is a fool’s errand—and you’ve just shown us exactly why. You’ve taken your bad experiences with a narrow slice of people, sprinkled in some tired stereotypes and worn-out clichés, and then slapped that lazy label onto millions who don’t, and never will, fit your narrative.
I'm guessing the inability to take constructive criticism is another one of those things Gen X ended up aping the boomers in. Fortunately, millennials and zoomers have developed thick skin by being blamed for virtually everything from the moment they were old enough to receive t-ball trophies.
If I had known then what I know now I'd have gone into politics. All I can say in defense of my generation is ... well not much tbh. Get in the game ASAP and go fix this shit.
It's not just in politics. I qas born mid 1970s so am right in the middle of Gen X. As I reached my forties and looked around at my peers in the workplace and noticed that there were still older (Boomer) managers and increasingly younger 30 something Millenials taking management positions but relatively few Gen X who occupied those roles. This is the main failing of my generation, we have been unwilling to take the reins and would rather sit on the sidelines making sparky comments. There are exceptions of course, we are not all like that, and I try to do my bit in spite of my ingrained slacker habits.
As a proud GenX I could completely destroy your arguments. But I just don't feel like it, maybe later when I have more time. Right now I really need to rewatch a few John Hughes' classics so I can recover enough for work next week. I've heard rumors that my 70yo boss might be retiring soon, and I want to be in the running to replace him.
This cross-generational thing smacks me as just as counter productive and childish as the internecine religious squabbles. I am a Gen X'er. Did I accomplish everything I could and should have? No. Am I leaving a legacy for my posterity so they can fight alongside of you and their generational cohort and salvage something with the idea of someday reconquering and taking it all back? Yes.
I've interacted with everyone in all of the generations. I have a knife in my back and so do you and my posterity from a person in every one of those generations. There is plenty of blame to go around. We are a collective people and it is our civilization. We all have people in our family from every generation who has betrayed us.
This lense is myopic, inflammatory and not helpful. The question is, are you aware that you are the inheritor of a civilization that has been handed to the other? Does that fill you with rage? Do you now or do you tomorrow want to do something constructive to fight back and reclaim this? If the answer is yes, it doesn't matter when you were born.
I'll close by saying that Jim Goad's takedown of Kurt Cobain is brilliant in its savagery. Perhaps you read this and took inspiration from it to write this. It was re-published last week. Kurt Cobain doesn't speak for Gen X. The pathologies we exhibit as a general rule exhibit are present across generations. I don't care if the guy next to me in the shield wall is an aging Boomer or a 16 year old. What is important is that he is in formation and ready to fight like hell.
This 'Hey! You asshole. Don't be an asshole and come and join me', approach to enlistment is laughable. I understand that you are angry. Kurt Cobain was too. He denigrated Whites and straight men. You are angry and denigrate Generation X. A distinction without a difference. We need statesman who are truly noble. The ones who arrive will be known as such because they are going to go to war with the army they have and they will stand out by binding, coordinating, organizing and inspiring.
In response to my saying that I want you on-side but we need to acknowledge a failure to act on the part your generation, you deflect and talk about how I'm being mean. I know that you guys were betrayed too. The problem is that your generation has largely resorted to crying about it rather than doing something about it. You can't be surprised if people like me are a little miffed at your generation considering the current state of the movement.
I didn't say you were being mean. I will say directly to you this time in more certain terms. You are being unmanly and childish, blaming an entire generation. The pot calls the kettle black because what was your entire article other than whining about Gen X.
Here is the other point I made that was lost to you because of your childish and unmanly blame game. It is silly and unwise to blame an entire group like this. Disagreement over tactics, leadership, approach, direction ... ... is fine and perfectly legitimate. Writing off an entire group of people you don't know is stupid in addition to being childish.
You don't me and you don't know the other Gen Xers that I know. You don't know what I and we have done, are currently doing, and will do for the cause including the OGC. As far as I know, I don't know that you have a cause other than the tired and unimaginative cross-generation blame game.
Early in my career I was going about like you, childish and angry and lashing out but without the smug false sense of confidence that you exude. For all my many faults, I was at least earnest and had some humility. I had a manager either very late boomer or very early Gen X who thought enough of me to pull me aside and say, "Don't be right. Be effective." In your case, your target is so large and unfocused and you are swinging so wildly with your eyes closed that you aren't even right.
Btw, it is obvious you read Goad's piece and rushed into all of GenX is Kurt Cobain. I am of the same mind as Goad on this cross generation slander. It is stupid and so are the people who do it.
Yes! I'm GenX and I despise too many of my own generation. Especially the leftist/liberal type who seem to want to protest with the kids to keep pretending they are young. No rules, they say. That's exactly what got them in the situation they are in. Luckily, because my parents were exactly like all GenX parents, I spent a lot of time around my grandparents because I needed advice on how to raise my younger siblings. They instilled in me a desire for a family, personal responsibility, and loyalty. There are many GenXers like this. That's how I modeled my life. Married 27 years. 2 grown adult male sons who behave like grown adult men. Because my parents were absent, I was probably too present. However, I still generally don't care what other people think about me outside my home, everyone in my house is sarcastic and cynical when it comes to people with social power, and we do probably mind our own business too often.
The part about Grumpy Old Men doesn't ring true. Gen Xers-- from Kid Rock to Portlandia-- looked further-back than 'Fresh Prince', idolizing Johnny Cash & hoping to age-into Great Depression curmudgeons in thrift store costume/ as a means to maintain dignity/ as yuppie success appeared too rigged to grasp-for. Gen X had to test all the Liberal & Libertarian wishful thinking & fail, or we wouldn't know Explicit Right is the only option.
As GenX, you are on target here. I also have the same disdain for my generation. Peers, spare me please from further talk of the rigors of drinking from the garden hose.
However, there is one thing that you missed or may not be aware of. A huge part of the reason you don't see many GenX in positions of power is 1) we are a small generation, and 2) the Boomers screwed us. The Boomer stayed in their managerial positions far longer than ever imagined. Mostly because they saved poorly for retirement, but also they no longer had the great deals the Silent Generation got in terms of pensions. Sure, they look good now in comparison to the deal you will have, but man, those Silent Generation guys hit peak pension. Boomers on the other hand, prime career periods were the period of failing pension funds and the switch to IRAs and 401ks.
So the Boomer just stuck in there a little longer, and promised their ambitious GenX hirelings that if they just stuck it out paying their dues, they'd get rewarded when the Boomer retired. But what happened is the Boomers then looked at GenX, aging, stuck in dead end careers, and hired their own kids (or those symbolically their own kids) the millennials into their management positions.
But don't worry GenY and Z. The same is about to happen to you. Because retirement isn't going to get any easier, and those Millennials hit those middle management jobs young. As you might gather, I fall into the despair side of GenX, rather than smarmy. Be prepared to suck it up, buttercup. Because the old curse seems to be true. As you are now so once was I, as I am now so you shall be.
Not to get morbid, but the advantage that my generation has is that mortality is undefeated and the Boomers are swiftly approaching the average age of mortality in the US. As a whole, Gen Y and Z also seem to be out for blood. The problem with the Gen X mentality is that it's framed around the notion of "I never got what I deserved" as if the selfish Boomers would ever just relinquish power. Instead, Y and Z seem to have the frame of "I'm taking what's mine. Try and stop me, old man."
You aren't wrong. GenX didn't get what they deserved. It's a definitional feature. Not that it helps to whine about it. My point being that a similar thing is about to happen to Z. Perhaps they'll be pillowing their elders. But it'll have to be, for the most part, the Millennials rather than the Boomers. It's the Millennials who stand to inherit Boomer largess whose rate of transfer as you point out is accelerating. Personally, I don't see GenZ having it in them but who knows desperate times call for desperate measures. As it's going they may find their elders have already been looted by the State. At least in the blue states inheritance taxes are skyrocketing. In general, the States and Feds appear to be working hammer and tongs to ensure generational wealth ends up in the government's pockets. It's a dark future and my retirement plan is canned goods and shotgun shells.
I have never thought I didn't get what I deserved, but I was raised in such dysfunction with my basic needs barely met that I am now so grateful for everything I have: a comfortable home, great marriage, healthy kids, and peace. I just can't imagine wanting anything more. For their sakes, I really hope Y and Z (I have a few kids in this generation) don't have such vengeful hearts. What a terrible way to go through life.
100% agreed.
The other thing boomers did was to value status extremely highly, so a lot of the first couple of promotions were to jobs that were actually worse than the jobs they managed. I had a bunch of jobs back in the 90s and 2000s where I would have turned down a promotion because I'd only make 30% more money for 50-100% more hours. People in a suit and tie often make far less money than most people think they do. But very few people were able to work in a suit and tie in the Boomers' parents day, so Boomers think it is rare and high status.
I'd add that GenX never did anything politically because the Boomers massively outnumbered us while also being far more focused on what they wanted from politics (money & status), and in a democracy that is all that matters. They are called boomers because their parents had something like 4 kids on average, while boomers went back to the 2.1 average but also delayed having kids. Which means there was a big delay before GenX turned 18, during which Boomers ran wild in the Republic. Boomers were the largest voting block from 1978-2016, for example.
The modern concept of the "VP" in companies was invented for boomers. It's title inflation for the ego of the receiver and, to a certain extent, for client perception. There are companies with dozens of VPs who are not even within spitting distance of the actual C suites. But they get to put VP on their business cards and elevates them in their minds to the point they'll tolerate demands that would be ridiculous for a senior manager. My favorite thing to ask somebody who mentions he or she is a VP at their company (and like vegans and crossfitters, they will) how many other VPs there are. They don't enjoy it when somebody refuses to engage in their polite fiction of being somebody of import in their company.
I'm liking this because the reference to drinking out of the hose cracks me up (and, yes, I am guilty of saying it).
Good luck!
Insightful article. I've had a hard time understanding GenXers. Mostly because they're largely irrelevant. But your observation that they worship pop culture is spot on. I remember them going bonkers for Stranger Things.
The one observation I have about GenX is that they have two clichés that define their generation: being a "latchkey kid" and "punk rock." And while these clichés may have defined their childhood, why do they still cling to it in their 50s?
You're a 50 year old man talking about being a latchkey kid. That's weird.
GenX in general might be an entire generation with unresolved trauma.
Deconstructing Boomer Truth #6: Generation X and the Rise of the Midwit
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGWdYT9W3m0
That entire series was good, starting with the Frankfurt school deracinating program all boomers went through, with slight modifications to the generations after. Including pushing depressing and self-loathing grunge music to our people in the 90's, while MTV tried to keep off more powerful music like Pantera.
That video was great. I'm curious as to why these changes happened. It feels planned. I'll have to check out the rest of the series.
Unresolved trauma is psychobabble. You mean some people failed to confront adversity in a manly way. I'll cop to that. It only become trauma if you let it. The alternative is to be a man. I remember when there were still men.
This is a dumb boomer try-hard take. Look at the statistics on divorced kids, and meet some kids of divorce. They struggle.
This is the exact same individualist attitude that this article laments. Grow up from your cartoonish notions of manhood and realize being a man is about serving your community.
I think that's pretty close to what I wrote. But go fuck yourself anyway.
"Generation X was left largely to raise themselves, fueled by highly-processed TV dinners as they consumed a truly degenerate pop culture beamed directly to them over satellite, cable, VHS, and stereo with no supervision. This was the world Gen X was brought up in."
This is a major distinction between Gen. X and Millennials, who were raised in the late 1980s and 1990s by the second wave of Baby Boomers. Gen Xers were so neglected their parents had to be reminded at 10 p.m. on TV that they had children and "do you know where your children are?"
Millennials cherish their childhoods, because they had the best one possible. They weren't latchkey kids, but they weren't overly controlled. They could go outdoors and play unsupervised, or they could check out the latest cool NES game or high quality Disney/WB cartoons geared toward them. They grew up witnessing the rise of 3D graphics and internet. They experienced the perfect blend of digital-physical realms.
The curse of all that is that everyone thought their best days were ahead, and I think I put it accurately when I say the life of Millennials has gotten only worse since 9/11.
However, another difference is Gen. Xers were allowed to be adults when they became adults - mainly because their parents were too indifferent to bother stifling their growth. They had culture shaped around them for a while when they were adults, rather than kids. The late 1990s and early 2000s is full of entertainment geared toward Gen. X, but also starring Gen Xers and portrayed from a Gen Xer perspective.
"The Millennial Malaise" is what Millennials are experiencing right now, because their parents, generally speaking, haven't moved past the parenting phase regarding how they infantize their children and people their children's age. This is why Millennials are getting married least of any generation; there's no social context for it. Millennials are hitting 40 and still being treated like children, which is why you see so much bittersweet nostalgia posted on social media by Millennials.
Gen. Xer face the challenge of overcoming apathy and indifference in favor of a positive vision for the future. Millennial face a challenge of finding meaning beyond existing as children of vanity.
Ryan, thank you for tackling an oft overlooked demographic and their role. Also, props for mentioning the Silent Generation and for alluding to something that often gets overlooked in the generation wars.
No generation is in charge during their formative years. Boomers did not create the Boomer Truth Regime. The pop artists creating 90s slop for my fellows and I were already late teens or 20s and their managers and producers probably decades older. This is much more inter-connected than surface level criticisms admit.
Wow, you really nailed it! I am an older GenX woman born in 1966 in Southern CA. When I was in elementary school, I was the only kid in my entire school whose parents were divorced. I felt like an outcast because of this, and because I was painfully shy, and because I was also placed in the MGM (Mentally Gifted Minors) program in school, I felt even more isolated at times, although I was well liked by my peers. My mother worked as the first female mail carrier in Los Angeles County and was a self-described feminist. I got myself ready for school and walked to school myself from the age of 6. I had a housekey that I wore around my neck that I let myself in with after school. We didn't attend church growing up, which was actually not the norm at the time, even in SoCal. My mother was always hostile to Christianity and she raised us in what I refer to as the Church of Shirley McClain and New Age deception. We were forced to meditate from the time I was 11, which always brings to mind the Dead Kennedy's song "California Uber Alles" and gives me a laugh. My mom divorced again when I was 12 and I hadn't seen my dad since I was 5.
By age13 (1979) I was attending local punk rock shows, all ages clubs like The Cookoos Nest in Orange County, and going up to Hollywood to see bands like Black Flag, Circle Jerks, etc. I shaved my head in 1980 after having been inspired by Spock's girlfriend in the Star Trek movie. Even in SoCal at that time, there was a price to pay for this type of outward breaking of societal norms. I lost my entire friend group and was regularly ostracized by my peers. This made a dramatic turnaround within about 5 years, and those same peers who had ostracized me were practically falling over themselves to say that they were my friend. I'll spare everyone the gory details, but also by age 13 I became aware that my mother did not value the lives of children in the womb, and by extrapolation, I became convinced on a very deep level that I had little value also, because I was a child also, right?
It seems to me that your analysis of GenX's noticing that the world we lived in was "fake and it sucked and you need to be free to do whatever you want" is mostly correct, but I believe a small group of us began our "rebellion" not in a search to be free to do whatever we wanted to do, but simply to highlight the inauthenticity of a society which would allow people in authority to get ahead and to hold power, who would conform externally, but who were, behind closed doors, a bigger mess than those of us who were choosing not to conform to the EXTERNAL norms. The feeling was to expose this hypocrisy I suppose. You are mostly correct, specifically about those GenX'rs that I would put in the category of the people who became "rebels" post about 1982ish, or when it first began to become "safe", even "cool" to do so, and there was nothing really that they had to sacrifice. For instance, on my first day of High School in 1980 I wore a dress and fishnet stockings with holes in them and I had a shaved head. This was LONG before the existence of Hot Topic, or anything of the sort. By today's standards, it was really no big deal, but the teacher in my first class sent me to the office. The office admin staff looked at my school records which reflected mostly straight A's, an IQ of 141, and absolutely 0 disciplinary issues, and were puzzled as to what exactly to do with me. In the end, they sent me home with the pretextual reason that my fishnets had holes in them. As I was leaving, a crowd of "jocks" and "hippies" chased me across the lunch area and the parking lot, throwing glass bottles and food, etc. at me and shouting threats. The few other punk rockers I knew, if they were guys, would get beat up fairly regularly by "hippies" which were really just long haired surfer conformists who listened to Led Zeppelin or other classic rock/radio bands. The music I listened to was not available on the radio, apart from one Sunday late night radio show. You had to go to small, specialty record stores to find it and we mostly tried to emulate the British punk scene. As I said, and as I'm sure it's hard for younger people to imagine, there was a fairly stiff social price to pay during that brief period for having an external non conformist appearance. Nowadays, having a non conformist appearance signals exactly the opposite, a highly conformist, highly suggestable citizen. I never went back to high school, but took the HS Proficiency exam when I turned 15 and was done with my high school career. No, I never regretted not going to prom ha ha.
In 1979-1980, I couldn't leave the house without random people driving down the street shouting "Punk sucks" from their cars. This happened to me DAILY until about 1982 it started to slow down. Interestingly, this is when the early punk scene, for me, started to feel empty, polluted, and just another dead end road. When I first started listening to punk, adopting the uniform, and subverting societal norms, I believed that it was in reaction to all the people in society who I believed were a fraud and were outwardly "passing" as normal, stable, good families, but once you got a little bit of a closer look inside that family, the corruption and degeneracy was obvious. The lack of authenticity was what was offensive to me at the time.
I went on to have 4 children, have an accidental (to me anyway) salvation experience at 37-years-old, to work in one of the most conservative industries (commercial insurance), and to live on a 5 acre farm in the middle of Eastern Tennessee. I still don't fit in with the majority of the women I encounter at church, or when I was a bit younger, the moms at PTA meetings, but I maintain a core of Christian women friends, precious grandchildren, and have a very peaceful and contented home/married life. Now I find myself back to being the subversive rebel in society, and especially with my family, for the views that I currently hold. I support you OCG boys in all ways that I am able to. Thank you for your thoughtful article. History is very difficult to articulate if you were not there, and even if you were. You did a fantastic job of it!
Thank you for your kind words and thank you for sharing your story. It's sad how many people ran to subcultures in search of meaning only to find them just as empty and meaningless as normie life. I think that's where the hedonism sneaks in. "Punk isn't enriching my life either. Maybe nothing will. Might as well grab all the pleasure I can out of life since it's just meaningless." I hate that you guys went through that and I'm glad to see folks like you come out the other side of that death spiral.
Gen X definitely deserves more spotlight, so this was good. My only addition is that this was the generation that screwed over the Zoomers (their children) with smartphones and iPads. Utterly foolish parenting. And yes, the stupid “latchkey kid” narrative is always invoked to excuse this kind of thing. Oh well.
As a GenX parent of five children ranging in age from 18 - 30, we kept tech out of our kids' hands until we were forced to put it there by school mandate (don't get me started, and yes, we made some changes). None of our kids got a phone before their 16th birthday. My husband and I have spent our entire married life building a home for them and fostering a wider community through our church and nurturing friend groups with like minded people. We have willingly and gladly sacrificed higher paying jobs, relocations and other material comforts in order to lay down some long-lasting roots. I think Ryan gets a lot right in his portrait of GenX - in particular his description of our formative process - but I personally know many, many people in my generation who are in the fight to bring about change which will allow our kids to live more abundant and fulfilling lives.
That’s great to hear. In my experience teaching Gen Z, most of their parents don’t bother with these restrictions. Their boys are addicted to porn, their girls to social media, and yet they wonder why the kids are all so dysfunctional and antisocial.
And yes, the schools that push iPads, chromebooks, and all the rest do a huge disservice. I fight this every time it comes up and get overruled—usually by a Gen X administrator.
Sigh. We sent our youngest to a Jesuit all-boys school after Covid. They issued an iPad and were at a loss when I asked for physical books for my son. We left there and I homeschooled him (best decision I ever made and wish I had done it with all of my kids).
I would say the best protectant against the rot of the culture - though not perfect as the results with my own kids shows - is having an active faith life.
I hope that this venting of your utter scorn and loathing for Gen X at least makes you feel better. Substack as Psychodynamic therapy is something I've never considered, but maybe I should.
I’ve always said trying to generalize an entire generation is a fool’s errand—and you’ve just shown us exactly why. You’ve taken your bad experiences with a narrow slice of people, sprinkled in some tired stereotypes and worn-out clichés, and then slapped that lazy label onto millions who don’t, and never will, fit your narrative.
But as I said before, I hope it was cathartic.
"The average height of a woman is 5'4"
"But I'm 5'7"!"
You sure showed me that Gen X isn't full of assmad crybabies by being an assmad crybaby.
I'm guessing the inability to take constructive criticism is another one of those things Gen X ended up aping the boomers in. Fortunately, millennials and zoomers have developed thick skin by being blamed for virtually everything from the moment they were old enough to receive t-ball trophies.
If I had known then what I know now I'd have gone into politics. All I can say in defense of my generation is ... well not much tbh. Get in the game ASAP and go fix this shit.
Regardless of the generation, cultural indulgence and ideologies will be the doom of all those who worship at these altars!
It's not just in politics. I qas born mid 1970s so am right in the middle of Gen X. As I reached my forties and looked around at my peers in the workplace and noticed that there were still older (Boomer) managers and increasingly younger 30 something Millenials taking management positions but relatively few Gen X who occupied those roles. This is the main failing of my generation, we have been unwilling to take the reins and would rather sit on the sidelines making sparky comments. There are exceptions of course, we are not all like that, and I try to do my bit in spite of my ingrained slacker habits.
I meant 'snarky' not 'sparky' comments!
Perhaps due to GenX having such a high rate of entrepreneurialism.
As a proud GenX I could completely destroy your arguments. But I just don't feel like it, maybe later when I have more time. Right now I really need to rewatch a few John Hughes' classics so I can recover enough for work next week. I've heard rumors that my 70yo boss might be retiring soon, and I want to be in the running to replace him.
This cross-generational thing smacks me as just as counter productive and childish as the internecine religious squabbles. I am a Gen X'er. Did I accomplish everything I could and should have? No. Am I leaving a legacy for my posterity so they can fight alongside of you and their generational cohort and salvage something with the idea of someday reconquering and taking it all back? Yes.
I've interacted with everyone in all of the generations. I have a knife in my back and so do you and my posterity from a person in every one of those generations. There is plenty of blame to go around. We are a collective people and it is our civilization. We all have people in our family from every generation who has betrayed us.
This lense is myopic, inflammatory and not helpful. The question is, are you aware that you are the inheritor of a civilization that has been handed to the other? Does that fill you with rage? Do you now or do you tomorrow want to do something constructive to fight back and reclaim this? If the answer is yes, it doesn't matter when you were born.
I'll close by saying that Jim Goad's takedown of Kurt Cobain is brilliant in its savagery. Perhaps you read this and took inspiration from it to write this. It was re-published last week. Kurt Cobain doesn't speak for Gen X. The pathologies we exhibit as a general rule exhibit are present across generations. I don't care if the guy next to me in the shield wall is an aging Boomer or a 16 year old. What is important is that he is in formation and ready to fight like hell.
This 'Hey! You asshole. Don't be an asshole and come and join me', approach to enlistment is laughable. I understand that you are angry. Kurt Cobain was too. He denigrated Whites and straight men. You are angry and denigrate Generation X. A distinction without a difference. We need statesman who are truly noble. The ones who arrive will be known as such because they are going to go to war with the army they have and they will stand out by binding, coordinating, organizing and inspiring.
This is the most Gen X thing I've ever read
How so?
In response to my saying that I want you on-side but we need to acknowledge a failure to act on the part your generation, you deflect and talk about how I'm being mean. I know that you guys were betrayed too. The problem is that your generation has largely resorted to crying about it rather than doing something about it. You can't be surprised if people like me are a little miffed at your generation considering the current state of the movement.
I didn't say you were being mean. I will say directly to you this time in more certain terms. You are being unmanly and childish, blaming an entire generation. The pot calls the kettle black because what was your entire article other than whining about Gen X.
Here is the other point I made that was lost to you because of your childish and unmanly blame game. It is silly and unwise to blame an entire group like this. Disagreement over tactics, leadership, approach, direction ... ... is fine and perfectly legitimate. Writing off an entire group of people you don't know is stupid in addition to being childish.
You don't me and you don't know the other Gen Xers that I know. You don't know what I and we have done, are currently doing, and will do for the cause including the OGC. As far as I know, I don't know that you have a cause other than the tired and unimaginative cross-generation blame game.
Early in my career I was going about like you, childish and angry and lashing out but without the smug false sense of confidence that you exude. For all my many faults, I was at least earnest and had some humility. I had a manager either very late boomer or very early Gen X who thought enough of me to pull me aside and say, "Don't be right. Be effective." In your case, your target is so large and unfocused and you are swinging so wildly with your eyes closed that you aren't even right.
Btw, it is obvious you read Goad's piece and rushed into all of GenX is Kurt Cobain. I am of the same mind as Goad on this cross generation slander. It is stupid and so are the people who do it.
Yes! I'm GenX and I despise too many of my own generation. Especially the leftist/liberal type who seem to want to protest with the kids to keep pretending they are young. No rules, they say. That's exactly what got them in the situation they are in. Luckily, because my parents were exactly like all GenX parents, I spent a lot of time around my grandparents because I needed advice on how to raise my younger siblings. They instilled in me a desire for a family, personal responsibility, and loyalty. There are many GenXers like this. That's how I modeled my life. Married 27 years. 2 grown adult male sons who behave like grown adult men. Because my parents were absent, I was probably too present. However, I still generally don't care what other people think about me outside my home, everyone in my house is sarcastic and cynical when it comes to people with social power, and we do probably mind our own business too often.
You're very welcome. Young men like you give me hope for the future. May God bless your good efforts.
The part about Grumpy Old Men doesn't ring true. Gen Xers-- from Kid Rock to Portlandia-- looked further-back than 'Fresh Prince', idolizing Johnny Cash & hoping to age-into Great Depression curmudgeons in thrift store costume/ as a means to maintain dignity/ as yuppie success appeared too rigged to grasp-for. Gen X had to test all the Liberal & Libertarian wishful thinking & fail, or we wouldn't know Explicit Right is the only option.